Tuesday, June 6, 2006

The Life & Times Of Robbie




Robert Charles Wohosky Born: July 12, 1916 Died: June 5, 2008


The Jackson Hole Vacation in 2001

One of my fondest memories of Robbie (My Father-in-Law) includes the vacation we shared together in Jackson Hole, WY back in 2001. Having lived in Wyoming 25 years of my life I never really took what you'd call a "vacation" in Wyoming. My soon to be wife Jenny planned the whole affair for an entire week. We toured Yellowstone, rafted down the mighty Snake River, enjoyed a sensational fireworks display on July 4th and went to a Dude Ranch Dinner where they performed Western Skits, Songs and Comedy.

The greatest part of the vacation was driving to Driggs, ID and taking Robbie on a surprise glider flight for his Birthday. Robbie was a Veteran of WWII and made a career of the military then retired, after that he worked for the military as a civil servant. In his later years he didn't really like to fly perhaps remembering some of the hairy flights he had during the war. Still, once we got to the Airport in Driggs and he found out he was going up in the Glider it may have been one of the most exciting moments in his life.

He got to actually fly the glider on his own once the pilot got him up over the Teton Mountain range near Jackson Hole. When he got off the glider he just beamed and the glider flight became one his most endearing stories that he would later share with friends and relatives.

Robbie was 86 years old when we shared that fun vacation together. Here's another true story about Robbie during that time. Robbie was staying in a Motel in Jackson that was 2 stories high. Believe it or not Robbie could run up a set of stairs two at a time, I couldn't believe it! AT 86 YEARS OLD!! It scared the hell out of me. Not him though, he liked to show off and took great pride in how great of shape he was in.

Robbie's Ice Cream & Shrimp

Robbie loved his shrimp and ice cream and could pack it away even at the age of 91, I was with him at one setting recently where he ate 3 bowls full of Ice Cream and then had a Mexican Coffee on top. This was his desert after finishing a shrimp dinner one day. 

On another occasion I took him for Ice Cream and when he got it he put a death grip on the metal bowl it came in so tight that he ended up freezing his left hand. He hadn't realized why his hand was so cold until he finished the entire bowl. I couldn't help but laugh at him as he tried to shake off the numbness.

One thing is for sure Robbie liked his shrimp and ice cream and never passed up an opportunity to have it. In the twilight of his life it was one of the simple special pleasures he enjoyed.

Robbie's Greatest Accomplishment

Robbie was a Husband, a Father of 5, 4 boys and 1 girl, a WWII Veteran, an accomplished photographer, piano player, loved studying weather daily with his computer weather station and for years enjoyed ham radio which was among his hobbies. His photographs are some of the best 35mm pictures I've ever seen. He was a very intelligent man who was also the King of Trivia and passed that love of trivia onto all of his kids.

Still, far and away maybe his greatest shining moment came when he had to care for his wife Margaret when she developed Alzheimer's in the late 80's. She took the long slow road to heaven but Robbie was with her every day of her journey until she died in 1997.

Robbie didn't put her in a nursing home and insisted on caring for her himself at home. With some assistance and guidance from Jenny, Robbie took care of her needs for 5 years.

Knowing Robbie the way I do I know this was really the ultimate stretch and sacrifice he could have made because in reality I'm not sure his personality was suited for such a job. Still he managed to bow his neck and suck it up and think of Margaret instead of himself. I truly admire him for riding out all the sad and ugly days he must have had to face during her illness.

Robbie's "Renaissance"

Robbie had what Jenny has called a "Renaissance" late in his life which Jenny and me were fortunate to experience with him.

Sadly though, for years and years in his family tensions with his sons were high and most of it was due to his own behavior. Robbie was a flawed human being as we all are and he made his share of mistakes in life. Though he rarely spoke or dealt with the relationship he had with his sons, I'm just positive if he had to do it over again I'm certain he would have parented his boys in a different way.

Still one has to remember Robbie was a child of the Great Depression and a career military man who believed in discipline and control. He just didn't know any other way to be. In the stories I've heard he was probably way too hard on his sons, especially the first 2. He was not unlike many men of his generation. He really wasn't what you'd call a warm and fuzzy guy in his early years. Inside he was a softy but he didn't have the ability to express love. Sadly as the years went on the walls were built between him and his sons. I think he just couldn't bring himself to make amends and tell them just how much he loved them.

I know the feeling my Dad in 48 years of my life has never spoken the words "I love you" to me either. So I know how difficult it can be to come to terms with someone who won't lay their feelings out on the table and express them.

I only knew Robbie for 7 years but in that time he took a liking to me and always said I was the nicest "Frenchie" he ever met. I was the beneficiary of his "Renaissance."  He showered me with praise and gifts. I think he liked me because I would set and listen to his stories without interrupting him. I also think he respected me for always being straight up with him and calling him on some of his stuff. I was probably one of the few people in his life who could call him out because most of the time Robbie pretty much did and said things his own way.

Robbie's Passing

Robbie had prostate cancer, that along with a very bad urinary tract infection, the 3rd one he had developed in the last two months. He was taking some very strong drugs for the pain in his prostate which in the last month of his life confused him and added to his slow then very quick slip into the fog. He was only in the Hospital for a week. It seemed liked it was going to be the longest week of our lives between his illness and some of the pre-existing family tension prior to his hospitalization.

For me anyway, the family issues were the toughest to deal with in the beginning but eventually they were resolved thankfully and we could get on with the business of caring for Robbie.  He would really only rally one day while he was in the Hospital and then on Sunday he started the last decline.

It's really the first time in my life I had experienced an extended family vigil. It was a very sad thing to see a man who 2 weeks earlier was still living a relatively independent existence. He was in so much pain and eventually the medicine he was taking for it quickly stole what memories and life he had left. We took him to a Hospice House on June 4 and on the morning of June 5 at 6 a.m. God finally took him.

When Jenny and I arrived at the Hospice House to view Robbie's body he was truly at peace, his face was free of the pain he had been suffering from. It's a site I won't forget. Thankfully he didn't suffer long and the week we thought in the beginning was one of the longest ones of lives seemed incredibly quick once he was finally taken from us.

Robbie's life taught me many things and so did his death. I'm grateful and thankful he was in my life. I hope now that he's in a better place he take that next glider flight, the one he wanted to take when he turned 100 years old. Except now he can enjoy the view from above.

Robbie by the way, if you can hear me up there if you don't teach Margaret how to drive by the time I get up there I going to kick your butt sideways, so beware.

I love you Robbie. God speed.

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